The Messy Bun

Alexandra Rivera // @ayyorivera  photo 212b1c2a-f33d-4397-a66f-2378a286149c_zpsb4aef27e.jpg // 19 // Fashion Institute of Technology // Free People //
God walked on water, Matt Schultz walks on humans. CAGE THE ELEPHANT EVERYONE! (at The NorVA)

God walked on water, Matt Schultz walks on humans. CAGE THE ELEPHANT EVERYONE! (at The NorVA)

Barcelona

I’m spending my last few moments in Barcelona at the airport trying not to let my watery eyes overflow.

I’ve always considered myself a realist when it comes to matters of the heart, to relationships. Some would call me a pessimist or even cold-hearted but after spending the past two weeks in Barcelona, I can say I believe in love. I believe that love at first sight maybe isn’t just a silly fallacy. That maybe it is possible to meet someone and feel something terrifying and beautiful all at once.

Something in me feels different. I don’t really understand it or know how to describe it myself, but your insides feel excessively jittery and you feel this persistent urge of awe and disbelief all while a swarm of butterflies dance around your stomach. Describing this feeling makes it sounds like this is me talking from first hand experience but as someone who is reluctant to analyze my own head, it only makes sense that I’m feeling this intensity through a friend to whom if I didn’t know any better I would insist was blood. I think that is what makes this even more extraordinary.

Seven hours. That’s all the time I spent with them. Seven hours was more than enough time. I don’t know much about it, but I believe love is something that happens when you aren’t trying to make it happen. You may not see it, but damn do you feel it. You feel it hard and all at once. It’s incredible and insane, even when it’s not happening to you. I think that’s what has taken me for a loop in this whole situation, that I feel this intense love for the connection between two people I love. It makes absolutely no sense and feels so incredibly extra-terrestrial. But it’s inspiring.

Thank you, Spain for bringing out all of these sappy feelings within me and for surrounding me with people who let me feel vicariously through them. For that, I’m grateful.

Back and forth between homes use to make me sea sick but I’ve learned to love the ocean and how to fight the current

I call this one the reverse duck face 👊

I call this one the reverse duck face 👊

whatchuu know about that bob life? #freshcut (at Alfredo Ray Salon)

whatchuu know about that bob life? #freshcut (at Alfredo Ray Salon)

Found my brother’s old skateboard in our garage and I just couldn’t resist.
@ayyorivera

Found my brother’s old skateboard in our garage and I just couldn’t resist.

@ayyorivera

Today I was thinking…

about beauty.

About how we look at ourselves as females and as individuals and it got me thinking about the transformation I have gone through from my fifteen year old days as a freshman in high school to college sophomore. 

There was a time not too long ago where I felt like I had to constantly be someone I just was not. I always felt like I had to look a certain way, wear the right labels, style my hair in a particular way, or sweep my eyeliner on in a perfect line to feel good about myself.

But of course that way of thinking ran out the back door screaming after I realized that I was becoming a clone of secondary school pressures. Now more than ever I can say that I am completely comfortable being myself. That means sporting a clean face, embracing my Cuban-born bushy and sometimes uncontrollable eyebrows, and kooky, usually frizzy head of hair. (Thank you, Leandra Medine and Lorde).That’s who I am. I thank god I have learned to embrace what makes me a little odd or out of the ordinary. 

Today actually marks three weeks exactly without a single drop or swipe of makeup across my face, not even my beloved falsies mascara. Honestly… I have never felt better about myself. Being able to feel comfortable in my own, natural skin is one of the most electrifying feelings. I’m my own definition of beautiful and that’s pretty badass in my opinion.

My dad just recently retired and I spent my winter vacation in Ormond Beach, FL with him. Absolutely no room for complaints- look at that beautiful beach! Of course, it wasn’t bikini weather just yet but it was still breathtaking. I could definitely get use to calling Florida my third home (after New York and DC)! 

everythingwasbetter-deactivated asked: I just want to start of by saying that I love your blog, you definitely have a knack for writing. I know you're a business major at FIT, but what program are you in? Maybe FMM or AMC? Those seem to be the most popular. Other than that, I was just wondering if you design, work on photography, or anything on the more "creative" side in your free time? (Aside from writing, that is!) I'll shut up after this, and I know it's kinda crazy to ask, but what is your "dream job"?

Thank you, you’re very sweet! As far as FIT goes, I’m a 4th semester AMC major. I love it because you get a little taste of everything: marketing, pr, advertising, journalism— everything! Which is great for me, cause I constantly change my mind! Luckily through a couple of my classes I have had the opportunity to dabble in graphic design and layout design which I really love. InDesign is one of my favorite tools! I hope to master photoshop soon, but one thing at a time!

Besides writing (obviously!), I work as a stylist at Free People Rock Center. I’m also working as a music publicity intern this semester which is something very new to me, but I’m really excited to dabble in the music world! Oh, and I dance. I’m training to become a dance fitness instructor which is a little different but something I’m really passionate about!

My “dream job” is such a hard question! There are so many things I want to do with my life but my dream (so far) combines my love of writing with my love of alternative/rock music, fashion, and Free People. I don’t know what kind of job that is just yet, but that would be magical. Another dream of mine is to work at Free People’s Home Office in Philadelphia. But who knows what the future holds!

xxx